Of ice and snow
by LiteraryCrescendo
Summary: Sometimes the cold comforts. Sometimes the cold kills. It all depends on where you are... This is the story of Alaska, the three kinds of cold he knows, Canada, Russia, and himself. and the one warmth. America. :WARNINGS: Rape, yaoi.
1. Chapter 1

The wilderness of Canada was the last place Matthew had expected to find a child.  
But indeed, this is where he had found the young boy, curled up on a makeshift bed of pine boughs, tiny body encased in a coat too big for him of fine smooth animal skin, lined with fluffy grey rabbit fur, hood pulled over his head, light brown boots of harder leather covering his feet.  
Tucked under his head his hands were protected by smooth gloves of splotched grey and black seal skin.

The Canadian reached down, moving to sweep his hood back and was met with a surprise when a small ball of fluff poked its head from the child's hood, growling at him.  
A young wolf pup.  
With its growls the boy's eyes opened, and he sat up.

Matthew tilted his head, looking at the child, his eyes didn't reflect anything, a shimmering mix of blues and greens and soft pinks, as if the northern lights themselves were contained within them.

Slowly the small boy pushed his hood back, his companion sitting atop his head of snow coloured hair.

"hello there" Canada cooed, "what's your name?"

For a few moments the white haired boy was silent, but at last he tilted his head and stated, "You're weird..."

Canada blinked, a bit taken aback at the comment.

All the same he laughed, rubbing the back of his head, "well...I'm Canada anyway..."

another moment of silence.

"My name is Alaska"

Canada grinned, offering a hand, "it's not safe to be out in the cold alone, come with me, we'll get you something warm to eat."

Alaska blinked, standing on his own, but he would not touch Canada, who sighed, turning to walk home again, Alaska toddling after him after a short pause for thought, the wolf pup atop his head still glaring at Canada.

Matthew sighed again, looking back at the emotionless child and his pet...maybe he could get France to take care of him...on second thought, no...

and besides, there was something charming about how the little thing toddled after him, blushing slightly when he tripped over the hem of his too-big coat, quickly pretending as if nothing had happened.

Had this been the way Arthur had felt when he found Alfred? 


	2. Chapter 2

It had been only a few days since the blond Canadian had taken Alaska into his home, and in that time he noticed something odd.  
If he were to send him to bed early, or take something from him that he shouldn't have, Alaska himself would show no emotion, however, the wolf that was always at his side, Juneau, would growl and bark.  
If he didn't allow the child's pancakes to cool enough and he burnt himself, all the young boy would do was stare at the spot, but Juneau would roll about the floor, whimpering and yipping in pain.

It took Matthew some time to figure it out, but at last it came to him.  
Alaska didn't show much emotion, only if it was truly strong would the smallest hints of pain pleasure fear or joy begin to creep onto his expression, other than that, it was Juneau who portrayed the boy's emotions for him.

It was odd, but Matthew soon became used to it, learning to watch the wolf pup when he wanted to know how Alaska felt.  
Currently the dog was playing with his own bear, and the blond watched silently before smiling, "almost time for bed guys..."

Kumajiro turned his furry head up, "who are you?"

Canada sighed, shaking his head before standing to go and get a glass of water.  
when he returned Alaska had calmed, along with Juneau, the small boy cuddling with the two animals, laying his head upon the furry bear, wolf pup tucked under one arm watching the hockey game on t.v and while Alaska was as silent as ever a full out grin found its way to the blond nation's lips when he saw Juneau's tail wagging quickly.

His smile remained, until the game was over and he stood, "okay, let's get your teeth brushed, and do it well, don't you think I didn't see you sneak that extra maple cake after I said no"

"who are you?" Kumajiro questioned again.

Juneau ticked an ear, and Alaska stood, walking clumsily to the bathroom, standing on his tip-toes to try and reach his toothbrush.

In the end Canada helped him, making sure he did a good job before leading him off to bed.

Upon reaching the room Alaska promptly scrambled onto his bed, Juneau jumping up with him and curling up on one of the pillows, Kumajiro dragging himself up as well.

Smiling softly Canada tucked the boy in, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead.  
"good night Alaska" he reached out to gently pet Juneau, "good night Juneau"

Turning he made it to the doorway, "night Kumajiro!"  
"who are you?" the bear asked.

Canada sighed, and as the door shut he could just hear the softest voice say.

"That's Canada" 


	3. Chapter 3

"It's fine, try again!" after being urged by Canada a few times Alaska sighed, standing again, "I don't understand this..." the silver haired child mumbled, leaning down to pick the puck up, turning it in his hands, holding it to the sun.  
Juneau tilted his head left and right curiously.

Living with Canada Alaska had grown well, no longer an awkward toddler, now a child, limbs longer, not slim, but not layered with the baby fat of his first days with the blond, face losing the soft puff as well, beginning to sharpen a bit.

"it's hockey! it's fun!" Canada replied, watching his charge look at the black disc in his hand.

Alaska grunted softly, "this is imbecilic..." he turned, giving his wrist a flick and sending the puck flying.  
"Juneau" he mumbled softly, "catch"

The grey wolf stood, also having grown a bit, puppy-ish legs longer, once floppy ears beginning to become firm and pointed.

Turning its dusky blue eyes in the direction Alaska had thrown the object he dashed off, paws hardly indenting the snow as he quickly scooped the object up, obediently returning it to his master.

Dropping the puck Alaska scooped Juneau up, though it was getting a bit hard as the wolf gained weight, soon it would be truly difficult.

"wouldn't it be wonderful" Alaska mused, mostly to himself, though the words made their way to Canada as well, "to have the paws of a wolf, to not be affected by the snow, to have that kind of grace in it, that power, that speed..."

He nuzzled between the canine's ears before setting him down again.  
"I'm going for a walk" he grumbled to Canada, Juneau trotting loyally at his side as he left, leaving Matthew standing dumbfounded on the ice with hardly enough time to utter an "oh...o-okay..."

It was hours later when Canada began to worry at last about his charge, the boy still hadn't returned home, though he was usually prompt about such things, though he didn't have to much time to worry before he heard the door open and Alaska march in.

"boots off!" the Canadian pleaded, too late, Alaska had already trotted over the carpet to the garage, returning a moment later with a length of rope before heading back outside.

Following him to the doorway Canada watched as he lifted the animal's paws and then full upper body, twisting the rope about him to create a makeshift harness.  
Once Juneau was tied he moved away again, grabbing the sled Canada usually used to gather firewood that had been sitting against the house, securing the free end of the rope through the high handle.

"_what_ are you doing?" Canada questioned, tilting his head, blinking slowly.

Alaska looked at Canada' Juneau bouncing in place, "I'm sledding" he replied simply, stepping up onto the wood of the sled and holding on to the handle on either side of the rope, pulling the hood of his jacket up, which was still too big but he was growing into it quickly.

A puff of white stained the air as Alaska let out a breath through slightly parted lips, the softest command of, "go" slipping from his lips.

And Juneau did, flying over the snow in the way that he always did, Alaska being pulled behind him.

Canada's eyes went wide, watching as the boy and canine ran loops.

A soft cracking noise cut the air, and Alaska went tumbling out, Juneau on his back, worming free of the rope, and Matthew let out a squeak of fear, rushing to his adoptive son's side, turning him over.

The silver haired child's gloved hands were firmly over his face, trembling slightly, and Canada yanked them away, fearing that he had been hurt.

Well, tears were streaming down his face, but he wasn't crying.  
Soft laughter shook the boy, a grin planted on his face and for a moment Canada wondered if the poor child had hit his head.

Before he could speak though Alaska gazed up at him,

"For a moment, I was a wolf"


	4. Chapter 4

"Juneau, Hike!" the soft sound of snow being compressed underneath the sled was a pleasant musical sound, one that Alaska found calming.

Having made himself a proper sled, and a good harness for Juneau Alaska was easily able to run errands for his adoptive father, though often time he would be out just for the fun of it.

At the moment he was returning from town, having been sent off to buy flour and sugar for Canada.

"Easy" he warned the wolf pulling him, the forest between his home and town was thick, and the last thing he needed was to crash and have to go back and buy new supplies.

So far so good, he had made this run a thousand times over, never had he encountered a serious problem.  
Until now.

He groaned as a sharp snap pierced the air, sled stopping dead still, and Juneau whimpered, looking back at his master.

"the Stanchions came loose..." he mused softly, unhooking the rigging so that Juneau could trot to his side, as if helping inspect the sled.

Giving the runners a sharp tug up he attempted to fix the problem, it had happened before, but the sled had been empty then, now he had a rather large pack of sugar and an equally troublesome bag of flour.

"looks like we're walkin' home..." he mumbled, standing again.

Turning he began to head back, hands tucked into his pockets, "we'll come back for the sled later" he promised the wolf at his side, listening as his companion whined.

Before he could speak again the soft clicking of the stanchions locking into place reached him, and he turned, gazing at the man kneeling beside the now repaired object.

He blinked slowly as the stranger's violet eyes were turned on him.  
"that's what was wrong da?" the man questioned, brushing a gloved hand through pale silver blond hair.

Alaska paused, slowly turning and walking back.  
"uhm...yeah" he glanced over, "thanks..."

Shrugging the taller man stood, dusting the snow from his beige coat, "no problem, it's no fun to have to walk through all this snow"

Harnessing Juneau up again Alaska returned the shrug, "actually I'm fine with it, but I wouldn't want to leave these here" he motioned with a nod to the bags sitting on the sled, "but thanks anyway mr.....?"

"Braginski, Ivan Braginski, or Russia" was the friendly chirped response, followed by, "what can I call you?"

Alaska paused, "Alaska..."

Russia nodded, small smile on his face, "that's a cute name, but don't you have a full name?"

The silver haired boy paused, "sometimes Canada calls me Ethan" he said slowly.

Another nod, and Russia tugged his scarf a bit tighter, "what about a last name?"

Alaska shook his head, "Ethan, just Ethan..." in an attempt to pull the topic away from his name he looked at the sled next to him, "it's really cold out...and my...father...won't be home for a while, why don't you come and keep me company..."

Ivan looked taken aback, as if surprised at the polite gesture, "are you certain?"

Alaska shrugged, stepping onto the sled, "yeah...come on, stand behind me, don't let go or you'll fall..."

another pause from Russia, but at last he stepped up, holding on gently to the bar on either side of Alaska's hands.

"Hike" the smaller boy chirped, and Juneau took off, pulling them easily, though it was clear the half grown wolf was working harder than usual...well, Alaska would give him some extra food later, as a reward...

After he had returned home and safely packed everything away he invited Russia in, putting some coffee on, though he didn't usually drink it.

As always Ethan was silent, content to watch the fire as it crackled and sang, not at all put off by the way Russia spoke or stared at him, like a large cat waiting to jump upon a flightless bird.

"Which is why I think everyone should become one with me! oh...it's getting late...I should head home..."

Alaska looked up as Russia finished talking and stood, leaving.  
what an odd man he was.... 


	5. Chapter 5

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and at last months into years.

"where did you get that?"  
Canada motioned towards the baby blue scarf tucked around Alaska's neck, and Alaska turned his cold eyes upon him.

In those weeks, months, and years Alaska had grown, almost as tall as his 'father' now, his hair still short, not allowing it to grow past his eyes though the back reached the nape of his neck.

His eyes had remained the same, but they had darkened, dark violet-blue those same sharp pinks and greens and blues still shimmering within them languidly, even darker against his pale skin.

His slender limbs and body fit easily within his coat now, his pants a matching smooth brown.

"does it matter?" he responded coldly, fingers brushing the smooth cloth.

In reality it had been a gift from Russia, a light green one wrapped about Juneau's neck, the wolf now large and lean, raw power, the blue colour of all wolf pup's eyes had faded, leaving the creature's eyes a bright gold.

Matthew's lips turned down in a frown, "it's from him? right? you could just TELL me I don't care! I do care about your attitude!"

a small smirk found itself on Alaska's lips, and he walked past Canada ruffling the man's blond hair on the way by as he walked to the door.  
"Sorry" he mumbled simply, tugging his scarf on tighter before stepping out into the snow.

"He'll give himself a heart attack some day, always so worried" Alaska stated, resting a hand on Juneau's head, and the canine responded with a soft bark.

He left the sled, merely walking, the soft sound of birds in the trees comforting.  
The snow hardly made a noise as he walked, having at long last mastered the art of walking without disturbing the snow much, as he always had wished when he was young.

"you're late...you're always late" he stopped as he spoke, tilting his head down, smirk back, his eyes slipping closed.

a soft laughing reached him, paired with the gentle word "pros`tite"

Sighing Alaska leaned back as arms weaved around his waist, leaning his head back against the Russian's chest, tilting his head back and opening his eyes again to look at the nation holding him.  
"You say that every single time..." he responded, and Ivan laughed, tipping his head down to press his lips against Alaska's in a gentle kiss.

"ya tebya lyublyu" Russia cooed, and the colony in his arms flushed, rolling his eyes in an attempt to brush the words off, spending time with Ivan, he had picked up his share of the language, which was nice for the nation.

"I don't think Canada appreciates you hanging about" he mumbled, tipping his head to allow Russia's warm lips to press over his jawline, unable to reach his throat thanks to the scarf around his neck.

"are you going to obey his wishes?" Russia teased, already knowing the answer.

"net" was the swift answer, and Russia chuckled softly.

"you are saying it wrong, say it Nyet" he corrected the colony, making Ethan roll his eyes.

"he's overprotective, it's not his fault, he did raise me" Alaska half defended his caretaker, allowing Russia to trail his fingers over his cheek.

Ignoring his young partner's words Russia smirked, eyes half lidded, "Alaska" he purred, and as he knew the boy would Alaska nodded.  
"will you become one with Russia?"

Alaska deliberated, thinking it over, but Russia already knew the answer, could see it in the wagging of Juneau's tail and the wolfish grin he wore.

"da" Ethan responded at last, turning in Russia's arms.  
"when do we lea-"

"now"

He nodded, "I need that sled of mine though, it means a lot..." a lie, but he wanted to say goodbye to Canada, he would never admit that of course, not that he needed to, Ivan knew him well enough to already know and merely offered a nod and a soft "I'll wait here"

Juneau barked, following Alaska as he headed back, the birds quiet in their trees, and Juneau's ears ticked, listening, the canine could have sworn he heard something along the lines of a soft 'kol kol kol'  
but maybe he was wrong...

Alaska shook himself off as he stepped into the house, whistling for Juneau to hurry up, which the dog did, sitting next to the door, and waiting. 


	6. chapter 6

"your home is cold...colder even than Canada's house..."

So cold...

"it's not the same kind of cold"

freezing...

"it's..._painful_"

Shivering harshly Alaska doubled over, holding himself as the glacial air ripped over him, the cold was weird here, he lived for the cold, it was like a brother to him, but this...This cold was no brother...It was strange, nipping, cutting, _killing _cold.

"you'll grow used to it" Russia cooed, giving Alaska's scarf a gentle tug so he would keep walking.

Stumbling by the time the door of Russia's home was opened the young colony stumbled in, legs giving out when the air inside hit him, it wasn't _warm_ but it wasn't nearly as cold as outside.

Juneau whined, tongue rasping over Ethan's hand to warm him, and Russia laughed softly, kneeling next to the white haired boy.

"I thought you liked the cold?" he breathed, hand running up Alaska's back to tangle in his silky soft hair.  
"such a pretty thing...Ethan" he mused, then wrinkled his nose in disgust, "that won't do...you need a good name da? I'll give you a better one...a last name...you need one da?" he tilted his head, fingers playing through Alaska's hair still.

"Petrov" he decided, "it will be Petrov...that is pretty da?"

Alaska squirmed, and Russia tightened his grip on the colony's hair.  
"you're mine now..." he mumbled, finger trailing down Ethan 'Petrov''s throat, over his chest and belly.  
"all this land" he purred, "and it's mine now" he released his grip, standing up.

"I'll send hunting parties now, you can live without a few otter da? if your hair is so soft, the pelts of your animals must be very fine"

Juneau whimpered, Alaska staring into space as the wolf rolled and cried for him.

_What had he done?_

pulling himself up on unsteady legs the colony made his way to Russia's couch, falling down on it and watching through half lidded eyes as the large nation lit the fire, humming under his breath as he stood again and moved over to Alaska, pulling the 'teen''s boots off.

Juneau growled, Alaska watching but unable to do much.  
"ah-ah-ah! we don't need naughty animals growling at poor sick Alaska" he yanked the canine up by the baby green scarf around its neck, making his way over to the door and tossing it out.

Alaska's lips parted in a silent cry when Juneau hit the ground, the wolf's pain washing over him, and outside, Juneau howled Alaska's terror to the rising moon.

Panting and flushed, trembling slightly in pain Alaska watched as Ivan returned to his side, placing a hand on his forehead.

"ahhh, my poor colony is sick? I know how to make it better..."

Alaska didn't react as Russia's lips met his, merely averting his eyes as a warm tongue was forced over his lips, nimble hands working his coat off.

However, when those hands tore the shirt from his lithe form he gasped, squirming in an attempt to get away, slender hands pressing against Russia's chest as the silver haired boy attempted to push him away.

"I'm merely making you better da?"

Alaska squirmed more, tears threatening to fill his eyes, pushing the other male harder, falling weak as his land was used, his snow stained with the blood of his creatures, his people

"p-please, no! I don't want this!"

_pain_

_searing _pain, ripping up his spine, over his hips.

He already knows it will bruise.

"d-don't do that! that d-doesn't belong t-there _ahhh_!"

And he knows he's bleeding, can feel the blood over the pale skin of his thighs, he can smell it.

"please, R-Russia, I-Ivan, ya tebya lyublyu! I love you! st-stop!"

hopeless, he gave in, allowing the nation to take him, concentrating on the tears dripping down his face.

Outside, he could hear Juneau howling...


	7. Chapter 7

As time wore on Alaska changed.  
Not just the way he acted, which was certainly different as well, more distant, more cold, he watched as Russia took over the three Baltic nations.

But he did not seek their friendship, they had each other, brothers, friends, there was no place for him there.

His cold had changed, from the cold disinterest he had been 'born' with, to the bitter hating cold of Russia's climate, no longer trusting anyone, not even the three Baltic siblings.

The only time his cold demeanor would melt, is when he was touched, even the softest of brushes sending tears streaming down his face from frozen wide eyes, lips parting gently until a soft choking sound was torn from him.

But he rarely truly cried, never the emotion filled sad tears the Baltic trio gave after long days, just painful bitter sobs when he was harmed by Russia.

His land was ripped apart by the Russian colonists, oil drained from his ground, like his very blood until he had to stop and pant after chores that had once been nothing, the beautiful playful otter of his lakes and shores hunted until his once shimmering silk textured hair was coarse and dry, his once shimmering eyes that glowed with the brilliance of the northern lights themselves slowed, the colours now dull, barely shifting, listless.

Juneau seemed no better off, doing his best to help his master, jaws coming down over thick rope as he tried to help the colony pull a sled of wood behind the house, both human and animal's legs sinking deep into the snow, no longer flowing over the top as they once had.

The canine's once beautiful smoke grey fur had grown as dull as his master's hair, falling out now, proud golden eyes now resembled dull unpolished stones.

By the time the sled had been pulled, Alaska's hands were bleeding in his gloves, crimson liquid dripping over Juneau's jaws where the rope had pulled at teeth and cut into gums.

Managing to stumble inside he paused, heaving for breath.

"ahhh! good timing Alaska! we have company!" Russia cooed, his usual child-like voice would have made Alaska send Juneau at his throat had either of them had the energy for anything.

Instead he looked up, eyes widening at the sight.

_Canada_

it had been months, almost a year since he had seen the blond nation, and he hung his head, ashamed at his current state.

Canada's warm blue eyes glazed over in pain at the sight of his once proud strong charge.

"Why don't you go get us some tea~" Russia purred, and Alaska nodded, obedient as he had been taught to be.  
"yes sir, " he turned, walking into the kitchen, pulling his gloves off.

He sighed, rubbing at the dark circles under his eyes, listening to Russia and Canada talk, discussing politics and other things that he himself could care less about.

walking back out he balanced the tea on its tray carefully, barely setting it on the table in one peice.

"good boy, now, stay here, we may need you again~"

Alaska nodded standing behind Russia, Juneau laying at his feet like an elderly dog.

_so tired_

He couldn't bear to look at Canada, at the beautiful nation who had raised him, who he had betrayed, run off from.

After a few hours Russia stood up, excusing himself to go and tell Lithuania that dinner needed to be cooked.

Alaska stayed eyes locked on the floor.

A moment passed, and he jumped harshly when arms were wrapped around him, calming when he found it was the little blond nation that had raised him.

"what _happened_ to you Ethan?!"

Alaska shook his head, " will be angry if you do not call me Petrov...or Alaska, please do so..."

Canada choked out a sob, nuzzling against the taller colony's throat.

"don't cry" Alaska mumbled, arms wrapping around Canada.  
he was so _warm_

Juneau's tail wagged, as best it could anyway.

looking up Matthew's hands rested on Ethan's cheeks, brushing over them, one higher, brushing his hair back.

"I feel so old" the colony breathed, eyes tearing up, but he made no move to blink them away.

"Y-you're not old!" Canada replied, blinking in surprise when Alaska raised a hand to brush his fingers over his cheek.

He hadn't realized he was crying until those slim fingers brushed them over his cheek...

"yes I am..." Alaska rasped, once soft and smooth voice torn and ragged from crying and screaming in pain and begging for_ no no more please_!

Matthew shook his head slowly, "I raised you, you're not old! you're still just a boy!"

Alaska laughed, smiling sadly.  
"I haven't been a boy since the day I left you"

Canada's hands moved to grasp the front of Ethan's coat tightly, leaning his head into his chest.  
"why did you leave?" he mumbled, voice breaking as he attempted not to break down.

The white haired Colony let his eyes slip half closed,  
"Because I was young, and foolish"

Canada allowed a choked sob to escape, muffled by Alaska's coat.

Holding him close the Colony allowed him to cry until his voice was nearly as cracked as Alaska's.

"I meant to give you something before you left" Canada mumbled, pulling his hands away and reaching into the pocket of his sweat shirt.

Alaska blinked as something was tied around his neck.  
He looked down, holding it gently between two fingers, smiling.

"I'll take care of it..." he mumbled.

Soon after Russia returned, more talking, laughing Russia getting drunk of course.

And even though Russia was rougher than usual that night, when Alaska was at last allowed to go, he made his way outside, stepping into the snow, hands bitten by cold as he dug through the snow despite his gloves.

Still in usable shape he rigged Juneau up, the wolf's tail and head raising, back in his place harnessed before a sled.  
Alaska stepped up, legs a bit shaky.

His fingers trailed up, taking the charm of Canada's gift between his fingers once more, free hand gripping the bar of the sled, barely rusted thanks to the beautiful build of it.

Slowly he raised the charm closer, metal freezing against his lips but oh so warm.  
"Hike" he breathed, and as he spoke, he could feel the shape against his skin, the maple leaf gentle against his lips, wings set to either side of it.

Juneau tugged at the harness, and Alaska dropped his hand to the bar, grinning, Juneau's paws soaring over the snow.

the moonlight glinted over the winged maple leaf of his necklace, pale silver light shimmering over the wings Canada had given him.

And with those wings

_he flew_


	8. Chapter 8

Canada's gift had clearly boosted Alaska's spirits, as some of his energy had returned.  
His physical shape wasn't better, but his will made up for it, and he put up with Russia without tears, merely a stoic obedience, waiting for the night to fall and the moon to show her beautiful face.

Because when the world was quiet, moonlight flowing over the world in cold rivers, he was truly himself, the aurora within his eyes blazing, twisting and turning with a burning energy.

Juneau could show himself, eyes set ablaze like molten gold as he pulled at the harness, running full force, paws mercurial over the ground as if airborne, the cold bitter snow of Russia's land seeming to plummet away until they were soaring, gliding over the snow.

At times they would be out until near dawn, only to stumble back in and fall asleep on the couch, sore and tired but filled with an elation that came only with running, with flying.

And then, only a few hours or sometimes mere moments later he would be shaken awake by Russia and told to go and either make breakfast or light the fire.

Usually Russia would leave for a few hours during the day, no doubt off drinking or at war, and Alaska would take the chance to slip into the shower, slim fingers spreading soap over pale skin, and he could _feel _the cold run off him as warm water touched his body.

He traced his fingers gently over the scars he had received over the years, a few scattered over his upper shoulders, mostly laying across his chest and stomach along with his back.

His strange eyes were transfixed upon the soap bubbles as they ran along the scars littered over his body, running along the edges, creating strange patterns on his skin.

Pausing he popped one of the bubbles, watching the soapy water created flooding along the raised wounds like water dripping over the veins within a leaf.

He wants to think that maybe he's like a leaf, delicate but strong.

But he knows he is not.

Because leaves die in the cold...


	9. Chapter 9

Independence.  
Alaska scoffed at the word.  
there was no such thing as independence, always, you ALWAYS relied on someone else, needed, someone else.

So why did Lithuania leave? why did he leave Russia? for someone, who was he, the name, it was on the tip of his tongue...

America...

yes, yes that was the name.

His glittering eyes watched as Russia stumbled through the door, cheeks flushed clearly drunk, he was always drunk since Lithuania left...

Why would Lithuania leave? sure, Russia could get rough sometimes, but he really did care, really did love them, Alaska believed this with all he had.

His fingers were gentle, tugging Russia's scarf off and hanging it, supporting him while he undid his coat, hanging that on the coat hook next to the door.

Leading the tall nation to his room he helped him to lay down, kneeling next to the bed, leaning against it, fingers tangled in Russia's as the nation let his hand hang off the bed.

Russia was powerful, rough, yes...

but he was simply _stunning_ he could be mean at times, but Alaska was certain Russia didn't mean to hurt him...

When Ivan's breathing slowed in the soft breathing of someone who had fallen deeply into sleep he raised the hand laced in his, brushing his hands over the soft skin before standing and slipping from the room, Estonia and Latvia giving him weird stares.

He merely glared in return.  
how dare they cause Russia so much pain, how dare they plot to leave Ivan, were the blind? Clearly was all they needed!

Turning the colony moved off to his own room, why were the Baltics Russia's favorites? it wasn't fair! had he not been there longest? had he not obeyed? had he not been loyal?

He shook his head, no, he shouldn't think like that, he was lucky Russia liked him at all, he should have felt honoured.

Juneau whimpered as Alaska pushed him off the bed gently so he wouldn't be in the way as the colony tugged his clothing away, eyes falling half closed.

His own hands were so much more gentle than Russia's, so much smaller...

He gave his fingers a twitch, leaving red lines down his stomach, a much more Russia-like touch, the smallest beads of blood welling up in a couple spots.

down farther, soft cut over his hip as he gave his wrist a flick, ignoring that spot now to wrap a hand around his length, no soft flicks and touches, because he doesn't want those, he wants Russia's touches.

two fingers slip past his lips, muffling his moans and cries and

_no no more it hurts faster slower faster hurt me Russia Russia Russia_

His hips arched as he came, panting, fingers slipping from his now wet lips, bruised from biting them, fingers with the smallest pricks of blood from sharp canine teeth.

Why does Russia love Lithuania?

Lithuania doesn't love Russia...

But Alaska does...

Alaska loves Russia...


	10. Chapter 10

'It's early...even for Russia to be waking me up...' was the Colony's first thought upon being woken up before the sun, but it didn't really matter.

He allowed Russia to dress him, which he also found odd, usually he was left to wear whatever he wanted, well, whatever he had anyway...

A new coat, the same colours but clearly new, the only thing that Russia had truly done was replace his older scuffed clothing with new pieces.

His baby blue scarf was tied about his neck by Russia himself, Juneau's own light green one replaced now that it had been torn up a bit, new a soft against his work-roughened pelt.

He didn't dare ask why until they were walking, and his heart raced as they passed over Canada's land, slowing when they passed through an area he did not know, until slowly the snow and ice gave way to something different.

He paused at the grass, looking at it, watching as if he feared it may swallow him alive.

Ivan gave him a few moments before tugging him onward.

"Now..." Alaska jumped at the sound of Ivan's voice.  
"you must be a good little colony da?" he smiled that soft childish smile, "Just be a good boy"

Alaska nodded, he would be good, he would make Russia happy, and then Russia would love him, and when they got home he could make tea, and they would sit in front of the fire and sit together, as they had before he had left Canada.

The silver haired colony's eyes widened as they walked through the doors, walking down a few halls to step into a room full of people, a few arguing, some talking politely, one was napping peacefully.

Concentrating on everyone's faces he wasn't paying attention to the noises about him, and so when another man burst him shouting about his ideas and saving the earth he jumped, crashing into the man behind him, a soft 'oof!' leaving him.

"Easy there little guy!!" the taller nation chirped brightly, and maybe America would have yelled if Alaska hadn't seemed so young in his height and the mere fact that he'd never been to a meeting.

But when he turned in the nation's lap America shuddered, Alaska's cold eyes meeting his own warm ones.  
"Nyet" Alaska responded softly, "it's fine, I'm the one at fault..." he stood slowly, only to be pushed back down.

But it was fine, the floor bit into his hands, but Russia was kneeling next to him, one hand holding him down.  
Russia was _touching_ him.  
that's all that mattered.

"no no little Alaska, do not stand before those who are better than you are up~"

America laughed softly, him and Russia were supposed to be mending their relationship yes, but wasn't he being a bit rough on the new guy?

"of course" Alaska gasped, throat raw from lack of use in anything besides moans of pleasure-pain and screams of the same thing.

"now, what do we say to ?"

Alaska blinked slowly, "I'm very sorry , please tell me if I can make it right, truly I'm not even worth striking, but if you wish to do so, you may" he dipped his head, swallowing loudly before allowing his lips to meet the leather of America's boot, the taste of grit and polish made him want to gag.

All the same he lifted his head again, turning his head just a bit to allow America to strike him if he so chose.

Instead America looked at Russia.

"how long?" his voice was quiet, most of the nations now staring, being ignored though.

Russia blinked slowly, "since before Liet"

Alaska gazed at the ground, merely listening.

"for what?"

"nothing, he's useless now"

He could hear the smirk in Russia's voice.

Useless? he was...useless?  
what about the nights Russia returned home drunk, Alaska had always led him to bed.  
When he was tense, it was always Alaska that had come to rub the knots from his tense muscles, who allowed his body to be battered in broken so that Russia could have someone to take his anger out on?

But he ignored it, mind snapped back to the conversation.

"how much"

"what will you offer?"

"what do you want?"

he dared look up, America's sky blue eyes meeting his master's own beautiful eyes of amethyst.

"I have no use for him...seven million"

"done"

The sound of paper rustling filled the now quiet room, exchanging money.

Standing America offered his hand, Alaska merely glared and stood.  
Grinning America grasped his arm, leaving the room much to the surprise of everyone else there.

Silent.

Alaska was silent as he was taken away, dragged out of the building to a large house that must have been America's

Juneau followed loyally, growling at America whenever the chance offered itself.

After being shown about and generally annoyed Alaska was shown to his room, not huge, but bigger than Russia had given him.

He wished he could go home...


	11. Chapter 11

_Drip _

_Drop _

_Drip _

_Drop_

The sound of liquid hitting the inside of the sink...

and it's just so _loud_

but it's also so quiet...

The clean white tile is now stained a sick shade of orange, blood splattering gently over it.

After cleaning the sink out Alaska allowed his eyes to flicker to the mirror, only to dart away again.

Clearly he is nothing to America, America who tries to make him feel 'special' America who offers him horrible food and noisy company.

America...

America who he _hates_

Tracing the cuts on his arms with his eyes Alaska felt his lips part, arms staying pressed against the counter as he slipped to his knees, resting his forehead against the clean part of his arm, crying without tears.

He'd run out of tears to shed long long ago...

Pulling his head back just a bit he watched, still crying, as the pale skin of his arms was tainted, little rivers of blood following his veins , as if seeking to be back again.

It's this same crimson liquid he was watching as a very annoying very familiar voice cut in.

"what are you DOING?"

He turned his head, blinking slowly.  
"I cleaned the counters and sink" he promised softly.

America frowned, snagging his wrists, holding them up.

"screw the sinks what about your arms!?"

The colony blinked, confused, Russia had never cared, why did America, it wasn't hurting anyone.

looking away at the ground he felt America's lips meet the palm of his hand, and he couldn't tell if it was something he should pull away from or allow, he wouldn't love America, he never could, he looked like Canada yes...

But he wasn't Canada...

"smile"

Alaska's eyes shifted back, and America repeated himself, frowning.

"Alaska...Smile..."

Alaska blinked slowly up at America.

"What s the point of smiling when you have no one to smile for?"

America scowled, clearly upset with his stubborn colony.  
"What's your problem? you should be grateful! I took you from Russia! I saved you!"

Alaska smiled, a twisted smirk, cold and almost forced, but he didn't speak.

_and I promise, you can find his name carved into my wrist_


	12. Chapter 12

"He's just so damn stubborn! I have no clue what's wrong with him!"  
America gave his hair a tug, ranting to his brother before taking a sip of soda.

Canada tilted his head, "maybe you should lay off brother, he's new, maybe he wants to be left alone?"

America rolled his eyes, stuffing his free hand into his pocket.  
"he NEEDS a good kick to the ass"

Sighing Canada shook his head, he supposed he would meet the colony in question soon enough.

Heaving another sigh America flopped down on the couch.  
"he's upstairs yeah..."

Canada blinked, holding Kumajiro close.

making his way upstairs he made hardly a sound, and the boy curled on the bed didn't turn to look at him.

all the same Canada's eyes went wide, "Kumajiro...who is that..."

Juneau raised his head, looking at Canada.

"who are _you_" the bear questioned Canada.

Alaska tensed, then slowly turned, eyes stinging, watering up for the first time in god knew how long.

"That's Canada" he stated simply.

the bed creaked gently as Canada moved over, throwing his arms around the boy, Kumajiro and Juneau jumping to the floor, exiting the room to give their masters some peace.

Ethan's fingers were rough, tight in Canada's sweater as he cried, face buried in the nation's neck, small body shaking harshly.

But Canada's hands are gentle, coaxing him to back his arm up a bit so that he can look at them, placing a gentle kiss on his now bandaged wrist.

"Why are you giving America trouble" he breathed, blinking at the colony.

Alaska frowned, leaning back, Canada following until the silver haired boy's wrist rested on the pillow, Canada atop him.

"Because, he took me from Russia..." he turned his head away.  
"I'm angry at him..."

Alaska tipped his head, resting his lips against Alaska's throat.  
"Anger is just a cowardly extension of sadness. It's a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you're hurt"  
his thumb brushed gently over the rough fabric of the bandage, and Alaska flinched under him.

Even more gentle, and a soft sigh was given instead of the harsh flinch.

Moving slowly Canada's lips met with Alaska's .

No more words were given, no more were needed, Canada's hands gentle as they discarded clothing, more gentle over bare skin tracing delicate scars.

Alaska's hands are less gentle, fingers digging into the headboard as he sits up a bit, Canada kissing down his back, nails leaving little crescents in the wood as Matthew prepared him, gentle gentle _gentle_ not like he's used to being handled.

And when they are both ready Canada is gentle again, lithe belly lining with the colony's back easily, hips, gentle, hands tender over Alaska's wrists.

It's gentle.

Not like Russia.

But that's fine.

Alaska likes it better like this.


	13. Chapter 13

"They're healing well..."

Canada smiled, gazing at Alaska's wrists, the scars very much there, but no longer fresh, a mix of pale white and fresher pink.

smiling sadly Alaska tilted his head, "I'll never be pretty again, like when you found me, will I?"

Matthew rested his forehead against Alaska's.  
"We all have our scars..." he replied, slender digits tracing the jagged R carved into the colony's wrist, next finger moving smoothly to the U, slipping again, S, ring finger sweeping up a second curving S, then I.

nothing.

the touches stopped, tracing random patterns instead of the pale pink letters, Alaska's eyes fluttering closed.

"GET A ROOM"

Canada rolled his eyes and looked up at America, sitting on the floor, laying on his stomach, he HAD been watching T.V, but of course he had turned in time to see the two snowy nations being friendly.

Alaska looked up, "po'shyol 'na hui" he spat.

Clearly he still didn't like America.

Shaking his head America stuck his tongue out.  
"Matt, some of us are going out drinking tonight, you should come"

Canada shrugged, he'd come, yes, to drive Alfred home, and ONLY Alfred, seeing as by 'some of us' he no doubt meant 'most of the world'

America shot a grin at Alaska.  
"you should come too!"

Blinking the colony looked at Canada, who merely smiled and shrugged, Alaska was growing up, he couldn't rely on Matthew forever.

Reaching down Ethan gave Juneau's head a soft scratch.  
"yeah...sure, why not..."

America threw a hand up, shouting something that the two other men in the room ignored.

"you gotta leave Juneau here, they don't allow animals in the bar..." Canada laughed softly, "if America's boss didn't know what you are you wouldn't be able to keep Juneau at all"

Juneau's ears ticked, hearing his name, but he quickly figured out that it was of no concern, dropping his head to allow Alaska to continue to pet him gently

"Alaska" Canada spoke slowly, and the colony looked up.

"when we get there, I want you to know..." he looked away, blushing, "I don't expect you to...be mine...I mean...we nations tend to bed hop a bit..."  
even Canada did, though not as much as some others, when a new alliance was made, important documents, certain deals, things such as that.

Alaska looked away, "but I only want you..."

America twiddled his thumbs, standing and slowly moving out of the room, going to start the car no doubt.

Canada blinked again.

"just...keep it in mind" 


	14. Chapter 14

Pumping music lights pulsing pink green yellow blue flashing glistening off bodies as they writhe and grind, small outfits that shine as much as wet skin.

Grasping the glass gently Alaska raised his third shot of vodka to his lips, downed that, reached back, popped another.  
his own skin was still dry, clearly, he had made the mistake of allowing France to dress him when he had arrived to drive.

Resting low on his hips black pants reflected the light in ways that did nothing to hide how tight they were, as close to him as his own skin, and France had refused to tell him if they were pleather or rubber, and America had merely laughed, telling him it didn't matter.

He felt exposed, shoulders and slim stomach exposed to the open air, chest covered by a simple blue 'shirt' some shirt, it was more like someone had wrapped the blue fabric around his chest, gold sequined stars forming the big dipper, a larger one sitting up on his chest below his shoulder.

America had tugged a dog collar around his neck, and Canada had complained, but he himself had been a good boy, allowing the black object to be placed around his neck, a small glass and silver copy of the American flag fastened to the collar itself.

Sighing his crossed one leg over the other, tipping back another drink, the colours in his eyes swirling oddly with the liquid's influence.

"whoooa, maaan, those contacts are fucking HOT"

Alaska let out a soft 'huh?' looking over at the man who had spoken.  
not a nation, clearly human, good looking yes, but not in the surreal way nations were.

"c-contacts? o-oh...oh yeah..." not contacts, whatever.  
stupid mortal...

"y-y'know you're pretty, even if y'are a boy..." the man tilted his head, taking the glass from Alaska's hand and setting it on the counter, pulling the colony up and tugging him out onto the floor.

Alaska's eyes went wide, "no, I-I don't....Don't know how to dance" he slurred.

The man before him laughed, placing his hands on the silver haired colony's hips, and Ethan gave a gasp as he forced their hips together "what...what're you doin'?"

The man holding him laughed, leaning in close, and Alaska shuddered at the feel of warm breath against his ear, "I'm teachin' you how to dance..." another grind of the hips, and Alaska's back arched out of instinct, making the stranger laugh "name's Alain, good to meet you...?"

"A-Alaska!" the colony gasped.

Alain smirked, fingers tracing Alaska's stomach.  
"isn't that a state? whatev' 's a very unique name"

Ethan whimpered, a soft whine starting up in the back of his throat, did Alain have to push them together so slowly and _smoothly_?

he bit back a moan, blushing, and Alain laughed, tracing a thumb over the very obvious bulge in the colony's overly tight pants.

"care to take this somewhere more...private?"

Alaska shook his head, taking a step back, the heeled black boots France had forced him into clicking softly, "n-no thank you sir" he mumbled.

Alain frowned, taking a step forward, snagging Ethan's hand, "listen, you're coming, scream and you'll regret it" he growled.

Alaska shook his head, eyes half lidded with alcohol but filled with fear all the same.

That was when a hand was placed on his shoulder, eyes that seemed warm but still emotionless gazing down at him, not dressed like most everyone else, just a white Tshirt with a large red circle in the center, a pair of jeans easy on his legs.

"Is this where you have been dear? I am sorry I lost you"

Alaska blinked, watching Alain let go and back off.

he was silent, letting the new stranger lead him outside, the fresh air nice on his senses.

"thank you" he breathed.

The man beside him nodded, brushing the dark hair from his eyes.

"you seemed like you could need help..." he smiled just the slightest bit, "America has told me about you Alaska-san" he gave a slight bow, "my name is Japan..."


	15. Chapter 15

Those lips.

hehe

they sure looked soft.

'I'm japan'

he had spoken?

oh yeah...

Alaska blinked, "yeah...I'm Alaska..."

Japan sure was pretty...

he was so slender and cute...

what would those eyes look like burning with something beyond calm...

The bricks were cold, rough against Alaska's palms as he rested his hands on either side of Japan's body, looking up at him.

Japan blushed, inhaling.

"I need to thank you for saving me from that human guy..." he breathed, and Japan blinked, the smell of vodka fresh on Alaska's breath.

"y-you're drunk " he stuttered, resting his hands on the boy's shoulders.

Alaska pouted, "there's really nothing you want?"

Japan bit his lip, but his teeth were soon eased away by Alaska's warm mouth.

despite the fact that the smaller male was clearly drunk Japan slowly returned the kiss, Alaska was awful cute...

He slowly inched them down the nearby alley, and Alaska groaned, Japan yanking the colony's arms up, pulling the belt from his jeans and fastening it with clever fingers around Alaska's wrists, then allowing the buckle to hang from a nail jutting crookedly from the brickwork.

he sighed, feeling his overly tight pants slide down over his boots, lifting each leg in turn so Japan could slip them past his boots.

His back arched, feeling heat engulf his length, Japan's sweet little mouth working gently over him.

he squirmed, gripping the leather of the belt binding him.

His gasps turned louder when he felt fingers forced into him, stretching, pushing, pulsing.

He looked down at Japan, blushing, watching until the man stood, working his own jeans off.

When he was lifted by his hips he quickly wrapped his legs around Japan's thin hips, feeling and hearing his boots click as the heels passed each other.

The dark haired nation supported him gently, mumbling things that Alaska didn't bother to listen to, much to caught up in the feel of warm hips against his, of being filled.

After a moment he noticed something, the large scars on Japan's hips.

when Kiku noticed him staring he blushed.  
"America, bombs...no more needs to be said..." he breathed.

Alaska smiled, teasing, playful, taunting if one didn't know better.  
"they're b-beautiful" he gasped out, glancing at his own scars, whimpering when he felt Japan kiss up one of the longer ones on his chest.

He lost himself then, to the kisses and touches, tipping his head back when Japan filled him completely, the older nation's own cries muffled as he bit down on Alaska's shoulder.

Alaska hoped it would scar... 


	16. Chapter 16

Dieting hadn't helped.

exercise hadn't helped, and besides, nowdays he could hardly do his usual chores without being exhausted when he was done.

His stomach was barely under his heavy coat, but still he rested his hands against it, belly rounded under his coat, Juneau was fine, so why just him?

He whimpered, loudly, curling in on himself on his bed, he was so damn BIG.  
Panting softly he sat up, popping his jacket off, hating the way it pressed against his swollen stomach.

His hips hurt, badly, but at least he wasn't puking in the mornings so much anymore.

He looked up when his door was opened, pulling the blankets around his once small body, "please go away!" he begged softly, watching as the door swung fully open and a certain blond walked in.

"C-canada" he mumbled, "g-go! go away! I-I don't want to see you!" he pulled the blankets up to his chin, "I...I'm sick"

Canada frowned, walking in and sitting next to Alaska.  
"are you okay? fever? vomiting?"

Ethan sniffled, "I was puking about a month ago...b-but that was it...and I'm all bloaty..."

Canada reached out to tug the blankets down, doing his best not to look shocked.

It didn't happen too often, but Nations were certainly not human, male nations giving birth HAD been heard of..."

Alaska leaned back, letting Canada run his hands over his stomach.

"it's moving an awful lot" he mumbled.

Alaska tilted his head, "w-what?"

the blond smiled, "so...uhm...w-who's the dad?"

Alaska moaned, certainly Canada didn't mean?...

he chose not even to ask.

"u-uhm...J....Japan...I think..." oh how great did THAT make him feel, not even knowing who fathered his child!

Canada allowed his hand to stay in place, at least until Alaska slipped up, standing and pacing, and Matthew had trouble holding back giggles, Alaska was big for, how long had it been since the club?

five months, yes, very large, it was almost comical to watch the colony pace to-and-fro about his room, but it only lasted a moment before he had to sit down again, panting softly.

Canada jumped, tears pouring down Alaska's cheeks out of seemingly nowhere.

The blond frowned, holding him close.

"it's okay...you'll be fine...it won't be bad" he promised.

"I swear, I'll help you, I'll come stay here while you're carrying children, I'll make sure you're comfy, and when you're ready to give birth I'll be right there for you" he smiled softly, "I've always been there for you Alaska...I...I...I'll never leave as long as you want me, as long as you need me here, by your side, I want to be there to support you when you need it, to help you get through tough times because" he took a breath,

"I....I love you, Ethan..."

Alaska smiled, still crying, "I-I love you too Canada b-but I w-was crying b-because"

he waved his arms, and Canada almost laughed again.

"I'm really really craving a burger! but I don't want America to knooooow!"

Canada sighed, standing, it was going to be a long four months... 


	17. Chapter 17

Alfred tilted his head, listening, carefully, closely, the soft sound of music drifting through his home, the instrument's name was set at the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't quiet place it, a flute? no, it was just a bit too high to be a flute...

It made America think, think hard, back to when he first became a nation, that war...

Before he knew what was going on his pace had picked up, darting about the halls, he simply had to find out where that noise was coming from!

His shoes made soft clicking sounds as he ran over the wooden floors, lips parting to pant softly.

The smell of blood...

He shook his head, England flashing into his mind.

The smell of Rain

what was that noise? he wanted it to stop, but at the same time, the nation wished for it to never cease.

The smell of gunpowder.

England sure had looked so scared that day...those beautiful green eyes...they had been so sad...

The smell of sorrow...

yes, that was it, Sorrow...the music sounded like Sorrow given life, pushed out on beating wings to flow about the house as if it were water in a stream.

Yes, America knew that instrument...

He slowly pushed upon the large double doors leading to a room he hardly used.

America was silent as he entered, staring at Alaska's back, wearing white sweatpants and a blue sweat shirt that Canada had made for him, golden stars scattered about it.

"You play the Fife well" he commented when the song drifted to an end, "Who showed you how?"

Alaska blinked slowly, turning to face America.  
"Nobody..." he responded softly, hands dropping to his sides and he made his way to the window, which took up nearly an entire wall, the sill padded red and lined with cushions.

Ethan sighed, pulling himself up onto the windowsill, laying back, one hand draped over his stomach, the other hanging down, fingers gentle around the silver instrument in his hand.

The colony allowed his eyes to slip closed, lips parted gently as he breathed, the light draped over him like a thin gold sheet, making his silver hair burn brightly.

Tilting his head Alfred walked over, Alaska was so relaxed, he must have fallen asleep...

America was gentle, taking the fife and placing it nearby, taking the Colony's now freed hand his and leaning over, bright blond hair forming a silky curtain, and his breath caught in his throat as he leaned in closer.

Just as his lips were about to brush over Ethan's the silverette's eyes opened to narrow slits.

"Do not touch me" he breathed softly, eyes staying open for a moment more before sliding closed again.

"why?" America questioned softly, and Alaska merely responded with a soft "because..." trailing off as if he were going to speak again, but he did not.

America blinked, but obeyed at last, lifting his head again and nodding, turning and walking off, footsteps echoing around the room.

Alaska opened one eye when he heard the door shut, America was so like Canada, the one he loved, gentle, beautiful blond hair and easy caresses, as well as a caring manner about them.

"Because" he repeated to himself, smiling ever so slightly, both hands on his swollen stomach now.  
"I don't want to fall in love with you" 


	18. Chapter 18

Like a prince atop his throne.  
And Alaska almost felt bad.  
Almost...

These days he had Alfred wrapped around his finger, and if the nation said something about being too tired or having to do paperwork? he could merely look down and whisper something softly under his breath about how America was just as bad as Russia, and the blond would dash off to cook whatever he was craving or help him with whatever else he could need.

He actually rarely abused this though, he did, after all, wish to stay as far away from the older man as he could.

Groaning softly in pain he twisted on his bed, content to stay there forever, if Alfred would let him, which he rarely did.

And so when the 'hero' came bursting in it was expected, but not welcome.  
"it's snowing! it's snowing!" Alfred came tumbling into his room, ripping the blinds open.

Ethan sighed, rolling over, "I know what snow looks like" he growled, barely nine months in, the last thing he needed was for Alfred to be bugging him.

"come on Micheal I wanna take you out!"

Ethan raised his head slowly, looking at America.  
"what did you call me?"

America grinned, "Micheal! your new middle name! I've been thinking about a real good one!"

Alaska sighed, "fine...find me something to wear...something warm..."

America had already taken care of it, and he gently pulled a red sweater over Alaska's head, and Ethan sighed, looking at the picture on the front, a dog, wearing very fake reindeer antlers...

Couldn't America EVER be classy?

he didn't have time to think about it before a dark green scarf was pulled around his neck.

America helped him stand carefully, led him down the stairs and helped him pull his boots on.

When they stepped outside America and Juneau were quick to run about, trying to catch the fat flakes of snow as they fell, the wolf snapping them up eagerly.

After a moment Alfred ran back, holding his hands out.  
"I got you a snowflake!" he chirped, looking at his hands, then frowning, "I think it melted..."

Alaska nearly laughed, and maybe he would have if America hadn't placed an arm over his shoulder and led him down the sidewalk towards the city.

The walk was pleasant, Juneau trotting by his side, America warm against his body, at least he couldn't actually feel his arm through his scarf and America's thick bomber jacket.

Alaska sighed softly, watching as his breath condensed into a puff of white fog before fading off.

"let's get hot chocolate!"

Alaska nearly jumped at the sound of America's voice, but all the same he allowed himself to be led to the small stand, standing off to the side until America returned, shoving a paper cup into his hands.

Ethan blinked slowly, but after a moment raised the cup to his lips, drinking slowly.

His cheeks flushed with the warmth from the drink, eyes falling half lidded as they always did when he relaxed.  
"it's good..." he said softly.

America smiled, moving his arm over the Colony's shoulders again.  
"that's good to hear" he breathed, walking again, watching as Alaska slowly sipped his drink, trying to hide how much he really wanted to down it all in one gulp, it had been a while since he'd had anything so good.

The bright lights helped to distract him, he'd not celebrated Christmas since he left Canada.

Alaska sighed in content, shyly leaning against America, lips turned up in a slight smile, and America held him close gently, free hand tucked into the pocket of his jeans.

Maybe he didn't hate America so much after all...

"look! chestnuts!"

Alaska sighed, but allowed himself to be dragged off.

When the sun began to set the lights burned brighter, and at last America allowed him to rest, sitting on a bench in the middle of a large park, soft Christmas music playing, and he was still trying to comprehend the point of putting a huge Christmas tree in the middle of the square...

He was just beginning to stop caring when the song changed and America jumped up again, and Ethan nearly toppled over, he hadn't realized he had been leaning against the nation...

"I love this song!" he chirped, looking down at Alaska, extending a hand.  
"dance?"

Alaska frowned, "I don't know how..." he grumbled, looking away.

America pulled him up anyway.  
"I'll teach you!"

Alaska sighed, it was no use fighting, if Alfred wanted to dance they would dance...

"okay, just, sway a bit, and move your feet...good good!"

it was a bit hard to follow, his rounded stomach making his movements awkward but America slowly helped him.

"you're a natural" America cooed, smiling widely as always.

Juneau barked, wagging his tail, and Alaska looked up slowly.

"m-may I c-c-cut in?" a soft voice asked shyly.

America grinned, "hey Mattie! sure!" his brother always came to visit near the holidays, it was no surprise he would be in the square.

Alaska blushed as Canada took one of his hands, resting the other on his hip, and as Alfred had told him he rested his own hand on Canada's shoulder.

His movements were less jumpy with Matthew, less awkward, and it was easy to fall into their dance.

"I can feel him kick" Canada breathed, and Alaska blushed, looking down at his stomach.

Canada smiled, stopping, hands dropping down to Alaska's waist, and Alaska allowed his arms to wrap around Canada's neck.

The blond's smile grew a bit, nuzzling his own nose against Alaska's, and the silver haired colony blushed.  
"I love you, Ethan" he purred softly.

Alaska blinked slowly, leaning up on his tip-toes to bring their lips together.  
"I love you too, Matthew" 


	19. Chapter 19

Alaska yawned, allowing Alfred to tuck him in, allowing him to brush his lips across his forehead, as he did most every night nowadays.

Nodding, America left the room, sitting down.

"now where were we?"

he looked up, eyes serious and cold.

Japan smiled softly, drumming his fingers together.  
"I heard about Alaska's last visit to the doctors....three children...good, I'll have a son"

America smiled, eyes still serious "yes, that's right..."

Japan nodded, leaning back, "I will be taking two of them America-san...to live with some friends...I don't trust Alaska to raise three children alone..."

America frowned, "I can't allow that..."

Waving a hand Japan smiled, "when they get older you will get them back..."

Alfred frowned, "and if I don't allow that?" he questioned sharply.

Kiku laughed softly, looking America in the eyes.

"I'll bomb you" he said simply.

Alfred tensed, but at last relented, giving his consent, and Japan laughed, standing slowly.  
"good choice, Alfred-san" he purred, turning and walking to the door, opening it slowly.

"tomorrow is Christmas eve..." he mused, looking at the blond once more.  
"Merry Christmas, Alfred" he stated, stepping out the door once more. 


	20. Chapter 20

"Alfred I'm really not feeling well enough to go out right now" Ethan mumbled, allowing America to tug his scarf on.  
Juneau whimpered, looking at Alaska with wide golden eyes.

"well that's why you should go out!" the blond chirped, "it'll be good for you!"

Alaska sighed, but gave in, allowing himself to be led out into the snow.  
"besides, it's Christmas eve! Mattie wants us to visit!"

Alaska sighed again, how could he resist?

And so he piled into the car, Juneau taking his place in the back seat, it was early, way too early for him to be awake in his opinion.

He hadn't realized how truly tired he was until he found himself in Alfred's arms, carried into the train station.  
He had to stand eventually though, only to get onto the train itself, and Juneau was allowed to join him and America after America had spoken with a few people.

"it sure is pretty isn't it!" Alfred chirped, face pressed against the window, and Alaska wondered how his glasses didn't break.

"yeah...it's Nngh" he flinched at a dull pain in his lower back, but soon brushed it off.  
"it's real pretty"

he was soon asleep again, waking once or twice when America offered to get him a drink or to buy him some food, but he really didn't feel up to it right now, and soon curled up again, Juneau providing plenty of warmth.

Every so often he would wake up to a shooting pain up his spine, but it would pass quickly and he would be napping again.

America watched him, a worried expression on his face, but he HAD woken Alaska up early, he could use the sleep no doubt...

So he watched in silence, and by the time the train rolled to a stop the sun was setting.

Alfred yawned, shaking Alaska awake, or at least into a dull haze in which he could walk, with a bit of help, off the train.

"Ethan! Alfred!" a voice greeted as they stepped into the snow, Juneau bouncing up to Canada, who laughed softly.

Slowly Alaska lifted his head, letting go of Alfred and walking over to Matthew, hugging him as best he could.  
"hey, Canada" he breathed softly.

Canada grinned, taking Ethan's hand.  
"come on! you too Alfred! I have a surprise waiting at home!"

America smiled widely, jumping into the back seat, Juneau leaping onto his lap as Alaska was helped into the passenger side, and Matthew eased himself into the driver's seat.

Alaska jumped slightly, then relaxed, just a bit more pain, just stress he was certain.

"I have dinner all ready! and I thought maybe you would like to help decorate the tree! just like you used to, would that be all right Ethan? you don't have to, I got Juneau his own food too, don't worry it's not dog food!"

had Canada been speaking the whole time?  
Ethan shook his head, nodding slightly.

He listened politely until they pulled into Matthew's driveway, America and Juneau scrambling out, both ending up face-first in the snow before scrambling up again, racing each other to Canada's door.

Canada himself merely rolled his eyes, standing up slowly and helping Alaska up, who nodded curtly and followed into the house.

It smelled, wonderful, like ham and pancakes and syrup and other rich foods.

America wasted no time in getting to the kitchen, and Canada shook his head.  
"it's HOT" he warned his sibling before helping Alaska to sit on the couch.

Alaska curled up, waiting until Canada left to go get him something to eat before allowing his body to shiver in pain.

Canada returned a few moments later, handing him a plate of food and helping the young colony to sit up.

Alaska forced himself to eat, but all the muscles of his stomach and lower body were contracting in pain and he wanted to throw it all back up again.

He was thankful when he finished, to just be able to lay back and listen to Canada and America talk, the soft hum of Christmas music gentle in the air, beautiful, it was nice to be back where he had been raised.

"it's getting late"

Alaska looked up as Canada spoke, "we should get to bed! it's nearly midnight!"

The silver haired boy yawned, and Canada smiled, "I have your rooms all set up! right down the hall!"

Ethan smiled, standing slowly, "that sounds grea---"

His strange eyes widened, the colour dropping to the sides as they did when he was ill, only to fill in again with te soft red-pink that was usually just a subtle colour.

Out of instinct his legs twitched together and he blushed, pain shooting over his spine and hips.

"M-matthew, A-alfred" he let out a pained little noise, "I, I think my water just broke..."

Canada went pale and Alfred shrugged, "we'll buy another one, how'd ya break it, I didn't hear your glass drop..."

Canada rushed off, grabbing sheets, and Alfred's eyes went wide, "oh, OH!"

he turned, rushing off to get hot water.

Alaska whimpered, sitting again and cast a glance to the window.

The snow was blowing harshly, too much of a storm to hope to get to the hospital...

Tears wet his cheeks, and he found himself unable to do anything as Canada gently removed his clothing, settling him atop one of the sheets on the couch.

Everything was so dim, except the pain, he felt like he was underwater, noises blurry, vision even more so, he was faintly aware of his own voice, screaming, sharp pain tugging at him.

He could remember nothing after that, passed out from pain or just blocking the memories out he had no idea... 


	21. In the end

"is he waking up? Awesome!"

"shut up albino bastard!"

"that is so not cute Lovi..."

"I agree with Spain Aru..."

"bunch of bloody gits all of you"

Alaska groaned, sitting up slowly, he wasn't sure exactly what had happened, but it wasn't so awkward to move, and he was dressed in too-big pajamas, a pile of bloodied sheets sitting down the hall in front of the laundry room.

"where are they?" he asked suddenly.

Canada smiled, pointing to a crib that had been set up nearby.  
"see AL-FRED I knew it would be useful to save my baby stuff"

Alfred shrugged, and Alaska looked over at the three sleeping forms, smiling softly.

"well! what are their names!?" he looked up, why the hell were there so many nations here?

All the same he leaned down, picking up the first one, certainly the smallest, he gently brushed the baby blue blanket from his face.

The child yawned, opening his eyes slowly, his hair, like his father's, was dark black, though thin at the moment, his eyes the same dull brown, the slightest flicker of colour could be seen if Alaska looked hard enough though, just at the edges.

"Attu..." he mumbled, smiling softly.

He was still for a moment before laying his son back down, picking up the next one, a dark blue blanket wrapped about him.

Like his brother his hair was black, but, odd, when the light shone over it it swirled with colour, like an oil puddle in the sunlight.

With a soft whine he opened his eyes, dark wine purple, the only other colour to be seen swirling across his eyes was a twisting strand of blue, an odd contrast, but, Alaska decided, very pleasant.

"Kiska" he nodded to himself, "that name will do just fine"

Last but not least was the little girl, wrapped in a crimson blanket, she fussed when touched, her hair, much to Alaska's barley hidden content, was bright white, her eyes brighter even than Ethan's.

"we'll call you Aggie, after Aggatu island..." he breathed, kissing her forehead and placing her back down.

Japan smiled, "very fitting"

Ethan jumped, not having seen the older nation, and he smiled up at him.

Alfred stood quickly, standing between them.

"you can't have them!" he stated firmly.

Alaska blinked in surprise.

Kiku laughed softly, "step aside Alfred"

America paused.

"I will do as I said before" he said softly, taking another step forward, and America relented with a defeated growl, standing to the side.

Japan motioned to the nations in the room, "Alaska, meet the nations who will be caring for our children"

Alaska tensed, "I can handle them myself..." he growled.

Japan shook his head, "no. you cannot, I will not have you making a silly mistake and getting them hurt, they will be safe, and you will see them from time to time"

Alaska trembled, stressed frightened, still in pain, "y-you can't" he sobbed weakly.  
"they're mine!"

Japan smiled softly, "but I am their father, and I have the right to decide this, in both age and rank..."

Ethan trembled all the more, unable to do anything as Japan gently picked Kiska up, offering the child a slight smile before turning and placing the infant in England's arms.

England nodded, "Kiska Petrov..." he frowned, "you need a middle name..." he tipped his head, green eyes bright, "Adair"

Alaska looked hurt, gazing at England.

Arthur looked up, "I promise to take care of him, Ethan"

Alaska tensed, "swear?"

England nodded, smiling softly, "I swear"

Prussia grinned as the small girl was passed to him, Germany urging him to be very very gentle.

"she's got awesome white hair! just like me!" he grinned, and Germany sighed.  
"be careful east..." he mumbled.

Italy smiled, bouncing over and petting Alaska "don't worry Alaska~ I can take care of babies~ me and her will have fun~! and I can make her pastaaa~ and teach her to paiiint~"

"she needs a middle name!" Prussia announced, and Germany tilted his head.  
"how about..Adalinda?" he offered,

Prussia stuck his tongue out, "that is such a girly name!" he spat.

Ludwig sighed, "she IS a girl..."

Prussia shrugged, "Berlin~" he grinned down at the child, who looked unamused, "Aggie Berlin Petrov~"

Alaska sighed accepting Italy's touches.

"make sure they don't kill her" he mumbled, defeated.

He looked up at Spain China and Romano.  
"well you see Aru, Spain wanted me to help him and Romano care for...you know Aru..."

Spain raised his hands, accepting Attu from Japan, holding him gentle and close.  
"he's so CUUUTE!" he announced.

China smiled, "he would be cuter if you let me dress him as Shinatty!"

Alaska layed down, at least Attu had a loving family...

"I vote Amando as a middle name!" he announced.

China pouted, "I thought Niu would be cute"

Romano sighed, rocking in place, "just call it Attu Amando Niu Petrov....bastards..."

Alaska blinked as Canada sat beside him, offering comforting touches.  
he was silent then, watching as the nations left, chattering to eachother, and the house...

seemed so empty all of a sudden...

He was faintly aware of America holding back tears with soft sniffles.

But Canada was still touching him...

He sat up, clambering into Canada's lap as he had when he was a child after a nightmare, letting the blond cradle him to his chest.

He was safe now, in Canada's arms, and he slowly relaxed, his children would be happy and safe, and he would remain in his safe little world, surrounded by the warmth of Canada and America.

He was home...

As he drifted to sleep he was faintly aware of Kumajiro's soft voice, speaking to Canada.

"who is that?"

and he smiled, listening as Canada responded.

"that's my love" 


End file.
